Helpful hints for life!!!

Sometimes we do things in life that prove our intellect or lack there of... here are a few I thought I would share in my 33 years of, well lets just say, "Gifted Moments".

1. If you don't have glasses on you may think the blinking red light on the wing of your plane is actually another plane.

2. Why Heavenly Father made short people?! To paint base boards and walk under the trees on the sidewalk without ducking.

3. Your hair will stand on end if you electrocute yourself with an oven.

4. The car will not start if it is in any other gear than park.

5. It is possible to get paint on your foot, back, head, hand and pretty much anywhere else in less than five minutes.

6. Canned green beans, if dropped at the proper height and speed, can splatter tomato sauce across a room.

7. Hot potato is a real game and should be played with 2 or more people otherwise use hot pads.

8. You may think that the movie on the plane is talking in a language not spoken on earth (Men in Black 2) but, if after 2 minutes of no subtitles, chances are you're on the Spanish channel.

9. If you feel like your vision is off you may have both contacts in one eye.

10. When using a metal tool to tighten a car battery don't let it hit the metal frame of the car, sparks will fly.

11. Bobby pins can hold the chain in your toilet for 3 years and counting. (Who needs McGyver)

12. Ambien can be bad if in the wrong hands. You won't remember a conversation or anything else for that matter.

13. Don't ask if you can drown a fish, you'll never hear the end of it.

14. If someone takes something out of your desk, and you quickly say, "Stay out of my drawers". People take it wrong.

15. If you use Retin-A on your skin don't wax your eyebrows you will take off a few layers of skin and there is no way to pretend it is eye shadow.

16. Flat things cannot and should not be balanced on round things that is just against the law of physics.

17. When going camping remember to bring your glasses because trying to find the outhouse in the dark while blind is not an easy thing.

18. When the Chinese restaurant says it is hot mustard they are not kidding.

19. When skiing for the first time you can do a flip even off little hill of snow but I would not recommend it the landing is brutal.

20. Barbie's hair cannot be curled or cut. It won't grow back, you'll ruin your mothers good curling iron and your next two weeks of life.



Sad to say but my list can go on for miles, with room to spare for more stuff.



I have found in life there are always bad or stressful days. This is one of the ways I try to get through it... no not doing stupid stuff, but finding the funniest thing that happened to me that day. Life really is full of entertainment.

Please feel free to comment on anything you have learned in life. I always enjoy a good laugh.